30 Days of Blogging…Day 28…

30 Days of Blogging…

Day 28: What’s in Your Handbag/Purse…

I hate carrying a purse. I’m so not a girlie-girl. If I can get away with not carrying one, I’ll go for it. THAT’S WHAT POCKETS ARE FOR. The problem is, I don’t travel light for anything. So I’m usually stuck. I’m more of a backpack or messenger bag kind of person. Those can accommodate shit I need. Like a laptop, or a notebook, or…stuff I don’t actually need, but you never know.

ANYWAY.

When I buy a purse, I look for practicality and NOT UGLY. Which makes purse-buying extremely difficult in this day and age. Is there no such thing as plain black and pockets that zip shut? The one I use most of the time now I’ve had for a number of years and I bought because of its style—it looks like a mini messenger bag. Yes, it says, “I [heart] Nerds,” on it. For a long time I brainstormed ways to cover that up because I didn’t want to look like a dumbass high school girl carting around my ZOMG!LOOKIT!MY!SOOPER!KOOL!PERSE! And then I met Bob and I was like—ZOMG! It’s PERFECT! I usually have that side against me anyway because it closes with velcro and comes open easily, so unless it’s just sitting in the open, you can’t see it anyway.

BUT I DIGRESS.

The topic is What’s IN IT not “What are your strategies for buying and carrying it?”

The view:

And this is what I usually carry inside of it on the average day…

My wallet…it has a BLUE “S” on it…for Sara…because that wasn’t obvious was it? I got that on clearance at Kohl’s years ago. It was ON SALE at Kohl’s…can you even believe it!? My Hello Kitty coin purse. It’s full of mostly pennies. Quarters are hard to come by since my days of Mt Dew and Peanut M&M afternoons in the Toxic Shit Hole&#0153. Keys with a lot of keychains and member cards that I don’t even use. Hand sanitizer…Target Brand. Two kinds of lotion…one I use when I’m out on my own…the Gladware is Cetaphil because Cetaphil doesn’t come in travel size and Bob is allergic to every other kind of lotion on the planet so I use that when I’m with him, so I don’t cause him agony when we hold hands. Vitamin C drops…because they’re better than candy. A couple ponytail holders and a cloth for cleaning my glasses. Clip-on sunglasses. A pack of Kleenex…hey it’s actually Kleenex brand! Band-aids…because I always need a band-aid. Bob’s business cards…because he has a box of 5,000 and nothing to use them for…plus they just look cool—ever seen a clear, plastic business card? I know a company that can make you some. Some pens. Eeyore doesn’t ride around in my purse…he just weaseled his way into the picture.

The contents of my wallet…so you can rob me of my twenty dollars and commit fraud with my useless health insurance. Our useless health insurance has sent us FIVE different cards for different things…we haven’t figured out why. We also have identity theft and credit monitoring protection through Bob’s work—that’s another three cards. Why? Don’t know. Have a check card, a Walgreens card (think that’s actually expired) and a Barnes & Noble card I haven’t used in about three years. My driver’s license shows up as solid white because they don’t want you to take pictures of it (safety features FTW?) And a picture of Bob and Me…because I’m schmoopy like that. A pile of varied and sundry business cards. And a whopping $21 in cash, plus a couple dollars in loose change…hey—there’s all my quarters!

Aren’t you just FASCINATED???

Not pictured: The used kleenex and empty gum wrappers I threw out when I was emptying things to take pictures. And a couple of two year old Chipotle receipts I found buried in a corner.

Something to say?