Maybe daylight won’t ask me questions…

I read an article somebody posted a link to…somewhere…recently…about how people who write are mentally healthier. I don’t know exactly how “scientific” the studies were, but it made sense to me.

When the creativity is in a drought and I’m not doing much writing, there is an obvious gaping void in my life. When the words are flowing, my brain feels like it’s operating like something that resembles a functional adult in her mid-thirties. (MID-THIRTIES—Let’s not talk about how I’ll be thirty-five in less than two months because WHAT IN THE HELL?)

The creative well has been pretty dry and barren as of late. It’s incredibly frustrating. I still put forth the effort to write everyday, but it’s not always a fruitful endeavor. As long as my computer is turned on, Word is open. I don’t dedicate a specific time frame or amount of time to writing. I do it as inspiration strikes. I tab between Word, the internet, iTunes, the home architect program, and random games all day long. How much time I spend in any given program varies greatly day to day.

I’ve been spending a lot of time staring at my writing folder, wondering if there is anything I haven’t touched in awhile that’s worth trying to work on. I’m not really having much luck. Though there are a couple projects I’ve been rolling around in my head that might be worth dedicating the brain power to. And there’s always Ben and Marina (dead horse alert) because whenever I’m thinking about writing…or anything else…Ben and Marina are right there jabbing me in the brain with sharp objects.

Or Joel and Remy. Because they were an unexpected development in the Kate and Michael story that I am surprisingly happy with the way their subplot has (so far) panned out.

“So…out of curiosity,” Michael elbowed Joel in the side as he stepped around him to the stove.

Joel looked up, waiting for him to continue, “Curiosity for what?”

Michael turned, slight smirk playing on his lips, “Is Remy moving in?”

Remy’s head shot up and he stared at Michael, hazel eyes wide as saucers.

Joel froze, unsure how to respond, “Would that be a problem?”

“Not at all,” Michael shook his head, “I’m just curious. He’s here most nights anyway, isn’t he? You guys are pretty much living together as it is. I’m just wondering when you’re going to make it official.”

“I…don’t know…” Joel shook his head slowly, “We’ve just been…we’ve talked about it. We just haven’t really…made any decisions.”

Remy shrugged, tapping the edge of his laptop, “We don’t know if we should find a place to move into together or if I should just move in here.”

“What do you want to do?” Kate rubbed his back, seeing the rising anxiety in his eyes.

“We’re kind of torn,” he said quietly.

Joel drew in a slow breath, rubbing the back of his neck, “We didn’t know if we’d be pushing our luck moving him in here. Don’t know how long before you guys get sick of us,” he jolted when Michael punched in him the shoulder.

“How many times have we been over this? We’re not going to get sick of you. We don’t even know you’re here unless you’re here with us. We had this same argument when you decided to stay after the headache of your last apartment was over.”

Joel nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“If you want to stay here and have Remy move in with you, that is not a problem. We’re happy to have you both with us. You have been so much less stressed since you’ve been living here and even more so since you’ve been with Rem. Combining the two—you are happier than I have ever seen you. And I have known you for a long damn time. Hell—for the first time in your life you’ve admitted to being in love. We like having you here—both of you. The boys love you. And I feel so much more at ease knowing you’re around when I’m out of town so Katie isn’t alone. If you guys are happy living here, we want you to stay.”

Joel stared at Michael, teeth clamped on his bottom lip, his eyes stinging with the surprising sudden threat of tears. He looked over at Kate and Remy across the counter. She had her arm hooked around him as he leaned against her, his wide eyes locked on Joel.

“My only concern with any of this, is that you guys are going to start to feel strapped for space up in that apartment over the garage.”

Joel turned to Michael again, frowning as he walked out of the kitchen into the back hall and returned moments later with a piece of paper.

“We have space. Neither one of us has much stuff,” he shook his head, frown deepening when Michael unfolded the paper and set it on the counter in front of him, “What is this?”

“This is the basement.”

“What basement?”

This basement.”

“The hell are you talking about?”

Michael turned the paper, tracing the outline of the printed floor plan, “I had Patrick draw this up, it’s just a rough idea, we can make some changes to it if we want. But this is what the basement could look like if we turned it into an apartment.”

WHAT?” Joel stood up straight, mouth slightly agape.

“You’d have everything you’d get in a one bedroom apartment and you’d more than double the space you have right now. Pat mentioned we could use good soundproofing on the ceiling so you wouldn’t be disturbed when the kids are running amok upstairs and you’d have a private entrance with the walk-out in the back down there. You could still just come in through the house if you wanted, but the option is there. Regardless, you still have your own space, just more of it.”

“You want to turn your basement into an apartment.”

“You are correct.”

“You want to turn your basement into an apartment so Remy and I will have more space.”

“That is what I’m saying, yes.”

“Mike—you can’t do that.”

“Why not? It’s my house. I can do whatever the hell I want with it. If I want to turn my basement into an apartment and rent it out, it’s my choice. But the only way I’m going to do that, is if you are going to be the one living in it. And I’d do it even if you didn’t have a boyfriend to share it with.”

Joel stared at Michael, stunned, at a loss how to respond. He turned and looked at Kate again, shaking his head slowly, “Are you okay with this?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Kate frowned, “I like having you guys around too.”

“So you’d give up your whole basement for us.”

“It’s sitting practically empty. We’re not really giving up anything. There’s some stuff down there that we can stand to get rid of, but otherwise, it’s just wasted space. It’d be better to have someone actually living in it.”

“People are really going to think you’ve cracked, Mike.”

“Shit, people have thought that for years, Hiller,” Michael shook his head.

“This isn’t exactly…a normal arrangement.”

“Normal is highly overrated. I don’t do anything the normal way anyway. You know that. It took me seven years to get a four-year degree. I changed my major twice. I got a job that had nothing to do with that degree it took me so long to get. Then I quit to start a company nobody can seem to explain. I made the worst move anyone can make in business by hiring all my friends and then I decided to marry one of my employees. And now I want to put an apartment in my basement so my best friend and his boyfriend can live in it.”

Joel snapped his mouth shut with a quiet huff, mind spinning.

“Joel—you are one of the most important people in my life. I have known you for half my life. And we’re not exactly young anymore, my friend. You drive me absolutely crazy and there are days I consider having you committed, but I wouldn’t give you up for anything. You and Matty were my godsends when my life was in shambles and I could never fully repay you for all that you’ve done for me. But if I can provide you with a place to live where you’ll be comfortable and happy? I will do it in a heartbeat.”

In other non-news…

You know, I think one of the things I really love about this band is the rasp in Marc’s voice that hits certain lines that gets me in the gut every gaddamn time.


(O.A.R. … Heaven [live on Red Rocks])

Also…the line all I want to do is know you…GAH.

You know…if you have seven and a half minutes to kill on one song.

The first half of the song is just instrumental (even on the studio track) but damn…


(O.A.R. … Give Me Something [live])

And can we all just take a moment to appreciate Chris’ hair? That curl is fantastically ri-god-damn-diculous.

Dangerous Connection
O.A.R.

Something to say?