R: What would you do without me?
S: I’d wander around bumping into walls all the time.
R: Ripping off your toenails.
S: More than I already do.
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You know that commercial for toe fungus treatment with the little gremlin who walks over to the [animated] foot and flips the toenail up like the hood of a car?
It’s just a cartoon, but that is one of the most shudder-inducing commercials I have ever seen.
Sunday afternoon, Bob and I were doing some much needed cleaning around the house. I was barefoot—which is an anomaly because I can’t stand to be barefoot—because cleaning dirty floors with socks on is just kind of…gross.
I was walking up the stairs and my foot slipped on the edge of the tread, dragging down the carpet on the front of the step. I could feel it bent my toenail, but it didn’t really hurt. When I got to the top of the stairs, I looked down at my foot and saw there was a lot more happening than I felt.
The cracks in the nail polish? Those are cracks in my toenail. My toenail flips up like the hood of a car.
Endless shuddering.
(And many expletives.)
Gauze, tape, iodine disinfectant, epsom salt soaks, keeping weight off the toe, and staying barefoot most of the day to keep things “aired out”…this is my world right now. And it’s a bit like torture because I JUST WANT SOCKS. I have horrible sensory issues with being barefoot and joy of all joys…here we are.
The actual damage seems pretty minor, so I’ve got that going for me, but I am DREADING the regrowth process and the inevitable loss of the loose nail piece.
I am the most graceful person you know.
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52-50 O.A.R. |