Emotionally overrun…

I try to keep up with current events in the news so I have at least some idea of what’s going on in the world, but it can really take a harsh toll on my mental health. Especially as of late with the rapidly approaching election and the terrifying prospect of a horrific, degenerate psychopath becoming our next president.

Instead…

Things that are good…

1.) We ordered new blinds for all of our windows. (All four of them.) The ones that came with the house were poorly installed and ill-maintained and the one in the living room doesn’t even cover the whole (seven-foot-tall) window. There’s also been nothing on the transom over the front door. Both cause a lot of annoyance sitting in the living room with blinding sunlight in the afternoon/evening. We haven’t installed them yet, but we have given ourselves the deadline of November 29th when Final Fantasy XV [finally] comes out and we’ll be spending a lot more time downstairs. I’m excited to have nice, clean, new blinds on all of our windows.

2.) Related, Final Fantasy XV is finally coming out at the end of November. They’ve been stringing fans along for over a decade at this point. Bob is such a huge FF fan and his excitement over the game is so gaddamn adorable I just want to squeeze him. So I do.

3.) This weekend is Bob’s birthday and I’ve made him a ridiculous cake experiment of cheesecake and lemon bars and I have no idea what it’s going to be like when I cut into it, but we’ll see how it turns out. It certainly won’t taste bad. I rarely bake anything these days unless an occasion calls for it, so why not go all out for my husband’s birthday?

4.) We’ve finally had a good run of hoodie weather and it has been a much needed relief for my bad-addled brain. We had to break down and turn the heat on this weekend, but I’ll take layers of blankets over hotter-than-hades any day.

5.) We saw Andy Grammer and Gavin DeGraw play at Mystic Lake. I have many things to say about it (we’ll see if it ever gets written) but in a nutshell…HOT DAMN they are both so fucking good at what they do. I’ve been waiting four years for AG to play a local show at a decent venue and he was SO worth the wait. And while Gavin DeGraw has been on my musical radar for more than a decade, I’d never given much thought to seeing him live, but damn. He’s good.

Gator came with as my Xanax for the night. He hasn’t been to a show since Red Rocks so it was fitting. And deliberate. Gator loves him some AG.


(Back Home [live] by Andy Grammer)


(Something Worth Saving [live] by Gavin DeGraw)

Right About Now…

Last week temperatures were in the 60’s and low 70’s with low humidity. The A/C was off and the windows were open and it was hoodie weather and it was awesome.

This week the temperatures are back up in the high 80’s, hitting 90, and the humidity is thicker than thick.

Happy September, kids.

Ugh.

Anyway.

I have hope that someday Andy Grammer will headline a local venue that is NOT standing room only.

Oh wait.

AG is playing TWO FREE shows at the Bandshell at the State Fair. (Last night and tonight.)

(Granted the Bandshell is very small and the AG crowd is large, but there is actual seating to be had there. GA seating is still seating.)*

When I found out this was happening, Bob and I had a conversation about actually going to the Fair this year. We’ve been twice since we’ve been together. We’re not big “fair people” really.

And then, in my infinite grace, I busted up my toe[nail] and that put the kibosh to any Fair plans we might have had.

The damage is minimal and the actual break was not nearly as low as we initially thought, but since the broken piece has come off, things are A LOT more sensitive than they were when they were still [mostly] intact. Too much weight on the toe and/or too much walking causes too much regret. A simple shopping trip ends up being a rough gig. I would never survive the Fair with it.

Alas.

Plans to finally see AG at home, foiled once again.

We’ll always have Red Rocks, Andy.

OH—apparently I’m going to have to watch the upcoming season of Dancing With the Stars. I have never watched that show. I have never had any desire to. But yesterday Mr. Grammer announced he’s going to be a contestant on the next season and NOW I HAVE TO WATCH THAT.

Because Andy Grammer.

Always.

(Good To Be Alive (Hallelujah) by Andy Grammer)

*After seeing his picture from last night’s show…I’m kind of glad we’re missing out because HOLY FUCKTON OF PEOPLE. My crowd panic spiked just looking at it. JEEZUZ.

The compass of my heart…

So…

This dropped.

It’s that guy again.

In my head the color scheme of the album cover is totally a reference to Red Vs Blue.

Because that’s how my brain works—mashing together all my unhealthy obsessions fixations into one all-inclusive fandom.

I always have these extensive essays built up in my head when it comes to writing about music (new or otherwise), but when I sit down to put it on paper screen, the words fail.

Par for the course.

I love this guy.

He’s the most played artist in my iTunes library.

He’s the reason we drove over 1,800 miles round-trip to see a concert in another state. (I mean it was TRAIN so it was practically a no-brainer anyway, but the combination of the two pushed me off the cliff.)

He’s freaking adorable and shamelessly dorky. He’s a talented songwriter and musician. He’s a fantastic performer. And he really loves his fans.

My deep-rooted emotional attachment to music is particularly strong with this one.

He’s also going on tour with O.A.R. this fall and—surprise, surprise—they are NOT playing anywhere near here. (Alas there will be no road-tripping. Although if AG were playing the OAR Red Rocks show, I would probably be desperate enough to WALK to Colorado.) Also I’d be willing to bet cash money if they were going to play here, it would be at the Myth or some equally horseshit choice of venue with general-admission-standing-room-only. Because THAT’S WHERE THEY ALWAYS PLAY HERE. Life is hard, yo.

Time to add another 7,000 plays to last.fm.

What?

You think I’m kidding?

Don’t run away this time…

I’ve been trying to muster up a blog post for…awhile…and…I got nothin’.

I have a knot on my forehead from smashing into the edge of the freezer while putting groceries away.

Because I am just that talented.

I had no idea I touched my forehead so much over the course of a day until I had a bruise to hit EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

Ow.

In the meantime…

Andy Grammer released a new song with a new album slated for “late summer”…whatever that means. I’m stupidly excited.

I want to smoosh him.

Also Matt Hires put out a new EP this week.

Another Matt in my collection?

Yes I collect Matts.

What?

We’ve been over this.

He has a excessively played song on the Ben & Marina soundtrack that is so very Ben.

Also in new music that I’ve put into heavy rotation…

Better Than Ezra.

There’s a new album on deck for “summer release”…again…whatever that means. But whee!

They also have the song that kicks me in the gut every time it comes up in the rotation of the beat to death Ben & Marina soundtrack. The song that plays over one of my very favorite moments between the those two characters.

AND…new music from O.A.R.

Their new album is slated to drop in June. And yes. I’m excited for that one too.

And because I keep bringing up the damn Ben & Marina soundtrack…

Can’t say I’m making a whole lot of progress on the writing front as of late, but I’ve been reading through a lot of what I have written on various projects and surprisingly I’m not hating every last word of it.

So…that’s…something?

Everything to come…

1.) My head is in a weird place. I’m not entirely sure how to describe it. I never am really, but things have been a little more off as of late and I don’t know how to feel about it.

2.) Funerals, no matter how well you did or did not know the person, are a miserable experience.

3.) Sometimes when you get news, the only viable response is Well Fuck.

4.) We finally bought a new bed. Went shopping Friday. It’s being delivered Tuesday. ZOMGWTF!?

5.) There are times when biting my tongue is so painfully difficult all I can do is avoid eye contact and internally repeat the mantra “think don’t say, think don’t say, think don’t say,” before I tell someone just how incredibly idiotic they are acting.

6.) I need to go visit my parents. I’m long overdue.

7.) It’s been awhile. Have an Andy Grammer video.

More than I even understand…

We’ve been over my deep-rooted emotional attachment to music.

Countless times.

With little fanfare, Andy Grammer released a new single today.

I’ll admit it…

I fucking cried.

(Just a little bit.)

I kind of wish I was kidding.

And then I paid attention to the lyrics and further cemented AG’s high-ranking place on my list of very favorite music makers.

I was listening to this when Bob got home from work. He took one look at me…and my ridiculously giddy grin…and asked if I was listening to new music.

“See? Relentlessly stalking him on Twitter pays off!”

I fucking love him.

Bob, I mean.

(And Andy too…)

(But not nearly as much as Bob.)

Sweeter than sour…

Saturday on our way home, we picked up dinner and took time to sit down and eat before we unpacked the car. Things trailed from the living room up the stairs to the bedroom. We changed into pajamas and took a nap. When we woke up, we slothed our way to the loft and turned on our computers for the first time since shutting them down six days before. I scrolled to the bottom of my iGoogle homepage to see the damage waiting in my Google Reader: 1000+ unread items. Google just stopped counting after 1000. Nice. I marked “all as read” and called it a day. If anything important happened, I’ll never know. Or find out way late. As is par for the course.

Then I saw this:

It had been counting down the days for over a month and now it was done. Over. Came and went.

And with that…my heart broke a little bit.

I fully expected to be overwhelmed, anxious, and over-all freaking-the-fuck-out over our vacation. I expected to be stressed beyond all normal levels of stress (my normal levels of stress, that is). I expected to be stupidly, excessively excited over the concert. I fully expected to feel the post-concert melancholy of “damn…it’s over.”

All of which did happen.

What I did NOT expect was the sudden, over-powering deluge of emotions to come hammering down on me out of nowhere within a few hours of getting home, unpacking a bag, and OH MY GOD WHY THE FUCK AM I CRYING OVER A ZIPLOCK BAG OF TINY TRAVEL BOTTLES OF SOAP AND SHAMPOO???

Coming home after six days of my first-ever real vacation, running on little sleep, had my head in a strange state of “I don’t even recognize myself right now.”

The trip was worth it, don’t get me wrong. It was every bit as awesome as I’d hoped for and far beyond. (Getting rear-ended at a stop light on our way out of town and my subsequent full-blown panic attack in a strip mall parking lot notwithstanding.) (More on that later.) But for someone who is a staunch creature of habit and resists change with every fiber of her being, it was a lot to handle.

I’ve been trying to write about our trip. Every time I do, I’m reduced to a snotty, weepy mess. I’m not entirely sure why. It’s just me, I suppose.

I’ll get it written…someday. Because documenting the good stuff is far more important than documenting anything else.

I swiped this picture from Andy Grammer’s Facebook page. Bob and I are technically in this shot. We’re waaaaay back in row 51, right in the middle of the amphitheater. (Straight back from the structure right behind Andy.)

AG’s stance pretty much sums up the entire night.

What are you doing for the rest of your life?

I always feel the need to commemorate anniversaries with essays waxing poetic about years gone by. Then I start writing and it takes off in an entirely different direction that I never intended and I end up scrapping the whole thing.

Three years ago today Bob and I got married.

He is my best friend.

He is my saving grace.

I love him more than I ever thought it was possible to love another human being.

Every single day I am with him, I feel so unfathomably lucky to have him.

Tonight we are 950 miles from home.

My ridiculously fantastic husband is indulging my crazy and we are in Denver because I had a completely insane notion that I needed to see Train (and Andy Grammer—let’s not pretend this wasn’t the deciding factor here) in concert when they played on our anniversary.

I couldn’t bring myself to brave the State Fair on Labor Day last year when they were here, but apparently I can drive 900-some miles to see them in another state with little hesitation.

Or maybe I have finally, officially cracked.

I’ll let you know when we get home.