{"id":2989,"date":"2014-03-26T01:53:47","date_gmt":"2014-03-26T06:53:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/?p=2989"},"modified":"2024-02-17T22:33:22","modified_gmt":"2024-02-18T04:33:22","slug":"just-the-lines-in-the-sand","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/blog\/2014\/03\/26\/just-the-lines-in-the-sand\/","title":{"rendered":"Just the lines in the sand…"},"content":{"rendered":"

My appointment was at 12:30.<\/p>\n

I left early because it was snowing and I didn’t know what the roads would be like.<\/p>\n

I got to the clinic at 12:15.<\/p>\n

I gave my name at the front desk and the receptionist told me I was checked in.<\/p>\n

I sat in the waiting room past my appointment time—though I’m not sure how long because I wasn’t actually watching the time. I sat through half each of two different shows on the Food Network broadcasting in the corner.<\/p>\n

The other receptionist came out and asked my name and the psychiatrist finally called me back.<\/p>\n

She chastised me<\/i> for not checking in when I got there.<\/p>\n

I told her I did<\/i> check in and the receptionist told me<\/i> I was checked in.<\/p>\n

She muttered something unintelligible and walked into her office. <\/p>\n

I gave her the reports on the MRI and EEG and she told me I should still see the neurologist in May because they might have other ideas of where to look.<\/p>\n

She chastised me<\/i> for not starting therapy yet.<\/p>\n

Because spending six weeks sick as a dog from medication and going to five other appointments isn’t enough.<\/p>\n

While discussing my panic attacks and how most of the time I don’t know<\/i> what’s causing the anxiety, she told me I don’t actually want help<\/b><\/i>.<\/p>\n

THEN WHY THE FUCK AM I SITTING IN YOUR OFFICE???<\/p>\n

No, of course I don’t want help. I’ve just been pissing away thousands of dollars on doctors and tests and drugs for the last seven years because I’m really fucking BORED<\/i>.<\/p>\n

In three appointments, she has grown increasingly negative and condescending. She made several degrading comments in regards to whether or not I actually want to figure this shit out, alluding to harboring some sort of grudge from my past and creating the problems myself instead of having a chemical imbalance that two doctors and a psychologist reported. She also didn’t seem to believe me when I told her that my insurance doesn’t cover a damn thing until I hit my deductible. No, not even a neurologist<\/i>. It doesn’t even cover mammograms<\/i> for fuckssake.<\/p>\n

After crying for most of the day following my appointment and having an extensive discussion with Bob with more crying, I’ve decided I’m not going back to this doctor and Bob fully supports my decision. I’m not going to sit and listen to her be a condescending ass when I can be looking for or seeing a doctor who will actually listen and try to help without outwardly judging me for the problems I have.<\/p>\n

I’m back to square one again, but I’m not going to suffer through her bullshit making everything worse.<\/p>\n

I’ll keep the neurologist appointment—because that doctor is completely unaffiliated—and see what she has to say. And in the meantime I’ll be looking into other options that are on the list of possible avenues.<\/p>\n

And I always have Bob to hold me together.<\/p>\n

Words cannot express how unbelievably grateful I am to have him on my side in all of this.<\/p>\n

He is fucking incredible.<\/p>\n

—<\/p>\n\n\n
<\/td>\nSquare One
\nParachute<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

My appointment was at 12:30. I left early because it was snowing and I didn’t know what the roads would be like. I got to the clinic at 12:15. I gave my name at the front desk and the receptionist told me I was checked in. I sat in the waiting room past my appointment time—though I’m not sure how long because I wasn’t actually watching the time. I sat through half each of two…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":13910,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[51,9,85],"tags":[223],"class_list":["post-2989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-im-about-to-start-hucking-rocks-at-people","category-mental-health","category-yes-i-am-bitchy-nobody-said-you-had-to-read-this-shit","tag-223","wpcat-51-id","wpcat-9-id","wpcat-85-id"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/graphics\/featured-whatisit.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2989"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2989\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11427,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2989\/revisions\/11427"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/13910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}