{"id":4440,"date":"2016-05-23T05:16:27","date_gmt":"2016-05-23T10:16:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/?p=4440"},"modified":"2025-01-03T00:59:25","modified_gmt":"2025-01-03T06:59:25","slug":"dont-wanna-mess-this-up","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/blog\/2016\/05\/23\/dont-wanna-mess-this-up\/","title":{"rendered":"Don&#8217;t wanna mess this up&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes I find myself falling into the abyss of reading old blog posts.  I&#8217;ll go to look for something I wrote and suddenly it&#8217;s six pages of posts later.  And in the process I usually completely forget what I was originally looking for in the first place.<\/p>\n<p>Par for the course.<\/p>\n<p>Most interesting to me are the posts about <i>writing<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>A lot of my <i>writing about writing<\/i> is pretty much just me talking my way through (thinking out loud, in a sense) whatever project is currently eating my brain.  I reread posts so many times before I actually publish them, by the time I finally hit that button, it&#8217;s all just a blur of letters that may or may not spell actual words.  The surprising thing is&#8212;things I&#8217;m pretty sure are just absolute shit are actually a lot more coherent than I originally thought.  Not all of it.  But far more than I expected.<\/p>\n<p>What makes me wonder, is how much sense does any of it make to some random stranger who happens to read this stuff. (Though I can count on one hand the number of people who visit this place and I don&#8217;t need all my fingers.) (I am okay with this.)<\/p>\n<p>It all makes sense to me&#8230;to a degree.  Sometimes I read things and have no flipping clue WTAF I was talking about, but I&#8217;m sure it made sense&#8212;in some bass-ackwards sort of way&#8212;at the time.  But since <i>I know<\/i> all the details of whatever story I&#8217;m rambling aimlessly about, I don&#8217;t always see what does and does not make sense from an outside perspective.<\/p>\n<p>If it comes off as absolutely incoherent drivel, that&#8217;s fine.  I write for myself here.  If other people choose to read it&#8212;hey, I appreciate it, but I won&#8217;t be offended if you run screaming and never come back.  If I had any aspirations to be <i>social<\/i> with people, I might seek out actual feedback from kids who are not wholly familiar with my demented little brain.<\/p>\n<p>But we all know that ain&#8217;t gonna happen.<\/p>\n<p>Guess it&#8217;ll just remain a mystery.<\/p>\n<p>The past six months (Already??? WTF???) worth of writing can pretty much be summed up in two <b><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/aliasbob\/\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"I Twitter because I can...\" rel=\"noopener\">tweets<\/a><\/b>.<\/p>\n<p><center><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/aliasbob\/status\/718183662307532800\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/blog\/2016pics\/derail writing.png\" title=\"My greatest talent by far is my ability to completely derail every single writing project in spectacular fashion.\"><\/a><\/center><\/p>\n<p><center><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/aliasbob\/status\/732695365451845633\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/blog\/2016pics\/fixating.png\" title=\"My ability to fixate on things is rarely useful and almost always unnerving. It's fun inside my head. And by *fun* I mean terrifying.\"><\/a><\/center><\/p>\n<p>(The <i>fixating<\/i> is a whole lot more than just writing, but right now we&#8217;re just talking about writing.)<\/p>\n<p>I started a story dubbed <i><b>Lightning<\/b><\/i>.  Why <i>Lightning<\/i>?  Your guess is as good as mine.  It was a mix of old ideas from various projects and some new[er] inspiration from a few different sources.  It took some finagling of the character names, but I was mostly content with the way things were playing out in the early pages.<\/p>\n<p>And then <i>BASIL<\/i> showed up and initiated an avalanche of <i>Whatif???<\/i> and <b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/2016\/03\/been-there-for-awhile\/\" title=\"Been there for awhile...\">Tyler to the Infinite Power<\/a><\/b>.<\/p>\n<p>Because he&#8217;s an asshole.<\/p>\n<p><i><b>Scout<\/b><\/i> was intended to be just a pile of <i>Scenes Without Stories<\/i>, providing me with an outlet to purge some of the crazy rolling around in my head.  It&#8217;s since been reworked into something entirely different, that may or may not actually make a complete story.  The reworking probably belongs under its own code name but&#8230;ehh&#8230;logic.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>Haven (versions 2 &#038; 3)<\/i><\/b> spawned after I started looking at an idea I&#8217;d recently stuffed in the <i><b><a href=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/2013\/11\/one-by-one-they-drive-me-crazy\/\" title=\"One by one they drive me crazy...\">Stalled<\/a><\/b><\/i> folder. (Code name <i>Haven<\/i>, in case it wasn&#8217;t obvious.)  It was short lived on both versions as something wasn&#8217;t quite meshing with the [new] characters.  Which was fine because a certain creature shoved a wrench in my face in the form of a <i>Train<\/i> song.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>Lightning v2.0<\/i><\/b> kept a few elements from <i>Haven<\/i>, but shifted in an entirely different direction with the core characters.  Why I named it <i>Lightning 2.0<\/i> is a mystery (though it&#8217;s slightly more fitting to this story than the first) but I haven&#8217;t come up with a different code name for either version so&#8230;it stays.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>Next Gen<\/i><\/b> is a little muddy how it was spawned.  I can&#8217;t pinpoint anything specific, but there were pieces that I <i>really liked<\/i> so it grew rapidly into a full-fledged storyline.  And aside from the characters, there&#8217;s not really much for overlap with other stories, which may or may not have everything to do with why progress has been very slow on this one.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>Trust Fund v2.0<\/i><\/b> came up while digging around in the <i>Stalled<\/i> folder in a bout of writer&#8217;s block and frustration.  I started mulling over the original story and a plot point that I had considered in the beginning, but ended up cutting out.  I put that piece back in and it ended up changing the entire story considerably, giving it a level of substance it didn&#8217;t have before.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>Pictures<\/i><\/b> stemmed from a separate trip into the <i>Stalled<\/i> folder, pulling pieces from other ideas that warranted revisiting.  Certain parts make it largely similar to <i>Lightning v1.0<\/i> with a role reversal, but digging deeper into the story, it&#8217;s <i>different enough<\/i> to keep both.<\/p>\n<p><b><i>Fleet<\/i><\/b> is just an outlet to purge the crazy from my bad-addled brain.  It&#8217;s not meant to be a complete story.  It&#8217;s just a series of conversations between characters that don&#8217;t fit in anywhere else.  Writing this kind of stuff is surprisingly effective in clearing the murky waters Basil stirs up when he&#8217;s on a rampage.<\/p>\n<p>Every single one of these &#8220;stories&#8221; falls under the <i><b><a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/aliasbob\/status\/670697086879457280\" target=\"_blank\" title=\"Stephen...Tyler...\" rel=\"noopener\">Stephen Tyler<\/a><\/b><\/i> marker because every single one of them revolves around a group of characters that can be largely interchangeable from story to story.  It&#8217;s repetitive and confusing and I&#8217;m okay with that.  The circumstances vary from story to story (mostly) but the core characters all largely stem from the same inspiration point.  This is how my brain works.  I&#8217;ve stopped trying to figure it out.  If I just go with it, things eventually fall into place in a way I can actually work with.<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;ve been beating my head against the wall over all of these ventures, knowing that if I&#8217;m going to have any success at all, I <i>NEED<\/i> to focus on just <i>ONE AT A TIME<\/i>.  Balancing all of these attempts simultaneously is never going to work no matter how hard Basil tries to convince me otherwise.  Some of them belong in ye olde <i>Stalled<\/i> folder, but they&#8217;re staying put just to keep all of the inanity of <i>Stephen Tyler<\/i> together.<\/p>\n<p>The other night Bob and I spent a good chunk of time talking through all of this stuff.  He challenged me to summarize each story and tell what I liked and didn&#8217;t like about each one.  We do things like this every so often, especially when I&#8217;m spinning my wheels at the bottom of a hill.  He&#8217;ll be the first to admit he really doesn&#8217;t know anything about <i>writing<\/i>, but hearing the details of a story as a potential <i>reader<\/i>, he asks a lot of questions and gives me some perspective I have a hard time seeing as the writer who knows all the useless and dirty details.  I had to keep clarifying which version of <b>&infin;<\/b><i>Tyler<\/i> I was talking about (because <i>seriously<\/i>) but when all was said and done, he gave his opinion on which story I should focus on, and when I step back and look at them all from a distance, I think he&#8217;s right.<\/p>\n<p>Doesn&#8217;t mean I won&#8217;t still keep stabbing at all the others when the inspiration strikes, or the blocks interfere.  But my primary focus needs to be on <i>ONE<\/i>.<\/p>\n<p>So <i><b>Lightning v1.0<\/b><\/i> it is.<\/p>\n<p>Makes sense.<\/p>\n<p><center><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/blog\/2016pics\/stephentyler 052016.png\" title=\"Tyler to the Infinite Power is trying to kill me...\"><\/center><\/p>\n<p>&#8212;<\/p>\n<table style=\"width:375px;border:1px solid #cccccc;vertical-align:middle;\">\n<tr>\n<td col style=\"width:60px;border:1px solid #cccccc;vertical-align:middle;\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/graphics\/headphones50.png\" title=\"now playing...\"><\/td>\n<td col style=\"width:315px;border:1px solid #cccccc;vertical-align:middle;\">Falling in Love (With My Best Friend)<br \/>\nMatt White<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Sometimes I find myself falling into the abyss of reading old blog posts. I&#8217;ll go to look for something I wrote and suddenly it&#8217;s six pages of posts later. And in the process I usually completely forget what I was originally looking for in the first place. Par for the course. Most interesting to me are the posts about writing. A lot of my writing about writing is pretty much just me talking my way&#8230; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/blog\/2016\/05\/23\/dont-wanna-mess-this-up\/\" class=\"readmore\">Keep reading&#8230;<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Don&#8217;t wanna mess this up&#8230;<\/span><span class=\"fa fa-angle-double-right\" aria-hidden=\"true\"><\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8643,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/blog\/2016pics\/stephentyler%20052016.png","fifu_image_alt":"Tyler to the Infinite Power is trying to kill me..","iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,6,110,12,180,182],"tags":[221],"class_list":["post-4440","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-bob-squared","category-this-is-my-brain-and-welcome-to-it","category-writers-block","category-writing","category-writing-lightning-v1","category-writing-stephen-tyler","tag-221","content-layout-excerpt-thumb"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/media\/blog\/2016pics\/stephentyler%20052016.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4440","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=4440"}],"version-history":[{"count":28,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4440\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8999,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/4440\/revisions\/8999"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8643"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=4440"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=4440"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.getalifebooks.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=4440"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}