Conversations With Basil

Basil: Nowthen. But they have a kid.

Me: I…wha…no?

Basil: Yes.

Me: How?

Basil: They’ve been sleeping together for a decade. I think they could manage a kid.

Me: No. If she got pregnant in that time frame there wouldn’t be a “now-then” story. He would have pulled his head out of his orifice with the positive test. All of the relationship progress would have happened in the “then” instead of the “now.”

Basil: So Nowthen Redux.

Me: NO MORE REDUX STORIES. YOU CAN’T REDUX SOMETHING THAT NEVER WENT AWAY TO BEGIN WITH.

Basil: Sure you can.

Me: No. Go back to your cave and come out when you have a better idea.

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Basil: Nowthen.

Me: ffs … No more redux bullhonkey.

Basil: Alternate history.

Me: She is NOT the band’s assistant.

Basil: No she’s still an architect. He’s still a musician. But that’s how they meet.

Me: How would they ever cross paths?

Basil: She designs a house for someone he knows. Romance ensues. Then unplanned pregnancy.

Me: I don’t want another now-then timeline. One is enough.

Basil: Doesn’t need to be now-then. All that is just backstory.

Me: So then what is the STORY?

Basil: Nobody knows they have a kid together. Or that they’re married.

Me: Nobody knows? How do they HIDE A KID?

Basil: Their people know. But the general population doesn’t know he has this in his private life. Then someone finds out and spreads the word.

Me: Who finds out? And how? If this is going where I think it’s going, you’re fired.

Basil: I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about. But…something…happens…someone sees them as a family, and suddenly they’re on the front page of Reddit. No pictures. Just speculation until more people start claiming previous sightings. It’s kind of a miracle it took so long to come out.

Me: Did you buy stock in a straw company? Because you are fucking grasping right now.

Basil: Trust me.

Me: Never.

Basil: It will work.

Me: You’re still fired.

Basil: You’re welcome.

—

Basil: Working on that Nowthen Redux?

Me: Of course not. And I thought you said it was just an alternate history.

Basil: Semantics.

Me: Hardly. Why does it have to be an alternate history of Nowthen? Why can’t it be different characters?

Basil: I was sparing you having to build backstory, but sure. Totally new characters.

Me: You don’t SPARE me anything.

Basil: They meet through mutual friends. It takes a good three years for anything to happen. Romance ensues. Unplanned pregnancy happens. They get married. But the general population doesn’t know he has this private life until someone gets annoying on the internet.

Me: So he’s still a musician?

Basil: Always. But she can have a different job if you’re vehemently opposed to her being an architect.

Me: What is the actual STORY? There has to be more than just a viral Reddit post.

Basil: Day in the life. Their kid ends up in the hospital for some reason. A meddling young nurse recognizes him, gets stupid, and gains internet notoriety.

Me: Would that qualify as a HIPPA violation?

Basil: Well she gets found out and fired. But the word is out about his secrets.

Me: This all needs more work.

Basil: But now it’s on the list.

Me: You are the worst.

Basil: And you are welcome.

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Secrets OneRepublic