Things we have watched recently.
And by “recently” I mean….sometime this year.
Because it all blurs together and it’s already November what the hell?
Anyway.
Some new stuff, some old stuff, some good stuff, and some mediocre stuff.
Spoilers.
Probably.
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Predestination
Ethan Hawke, time travel, that Noah Taylor guy that seems to have a bit part in everything. It’s based on the [very] short story called All You Zombies by Robert A. Heinlein. (He also wrote Starship Troopers.) They added a whole lot more detail to the movie because the original story was pretty sparse—it’s only about ten pages long at most. It’s probably the only time travel movie (that I’ve seen) that actually does time travel right. Which is to say—it’s a mind fuck. You might walk away more confused than when you started, but it’s decent.
Gravity
Everybody R!A!V!E!D! about this movie. It was okay, but I don’t think it was the Best! Movie! Ever! Maybe we missed out by not seeing it in the theater on a big screen, but it fell a little flat. And I felt like I was suffocating listening to Sandra Bullock hyperventilate for two hours. Sandra Bullock plays the same character she plays in every movie. George Clooney plays…George Clooney. It wasn’t bad, but I really don’t get the hype.
Interstellar
This was another movie everybody R!A!V!E!D! about. It was another movie…I don’t understand the hype over. Matthew McConaughey MUMBLES through the whole thing, so I didn’t understand most of what he said. There were wormholes (so my mind went to John Crichton the whole time) which causes time to warp and twenty minutes of “space time” equals 20 years of “earth time” or some such confusion. And then they lost me completely when they got to the black hole. Because seriously. It had more of an interesting story than Gravity but still…why the big deal?
Locke
Tom Hardy. *ahem* The entire movie is just him in a car, driving down the freeway at night, making/taking one phone call after another. (Kind of my living nightmare actually—driving and phones.) There are no other visible characters, only voices on the phone. Everything is rapidly going to shit with each consecutive call. In 90 minutes, his entire life gets knocked off its axis because of one bad drunken decision months before.
Mad Max Fury Road
Tom Hardy. Again. I’ve never seen the old Mad Max movies, so I knew pretty much nothing going into this. It does follow the previous story, but you don’t really need to know the lore to get the movie. There is a surprising lack of dialogue, so you have to discern most of the story from what the characters are actually doing rather than saying, but it works. I can understand the hype that surrounded this one just for the practical effects alone. It wasn’t 100% CGI like most movies these days. It was good for a post-apocalyptic-world action movie.
The Double
Jesse Eisenberg plays…Jesse Eisenberg in a double role. Awkward, bumbling, and largely invisible to the rest of the world, he starts getting attention when his exact double—and polar opposite—shows up out of nowhere and starts fucking everything up and by the end…we find out it was Tyler Durden all along.
Space Station 76
Liv Tyler, Matt Bomer, Patrick Wilson, Jerry O’Connell, and more are living on a space station—the 1970’s interpretation of life in space. Closeted homosexuals, infertility, pot farming, infidelity, manipulative relationships, a gropey Nintendo Power Glove—it’s a soap opera basically, only intentionally funny…and a little depressing. And a better space movie than Interstellar and Gravity.
The Zero Theorem
When you see Terry Gilliam’s name on a movie, you can pretty much expect to be confused—but entertained—the entire time. Christoph Waltz is the main character. David Thewlis is his boss. Tilda Swinton is his shrink. Matt Damon is Matt Damon. What if there was proof that life—and the entire universe—meant nothing? Not nearly as WTAF as a typical Gilliam plot, but confusing nonetheless.
Ex Machina
What if AI was indiscernible from real humans? What if it became self-aware and manipulative? What if the only recognizable actor in the whole thing was Bill Weasley? A little creepy, a little suspenseful, a little boring, but not a bad movie.
How to Train Your Dragon 2
Hiccup and Toothless are at it again. This time on a quest to save all of dragonkind. I loved the first dragon movie and the sequel was actually up to par (if not better). Which is rare for cartoon movies. I need me a Toothless dragon for my very own please and thank you.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Yes. The new one. The one where they were originally supposed to be aliens and everybody screamed and wailed and eventually the masterminds said, LOLJK they’re turtles who stepped in ooze. Anyway. Megan Fox can’t act her way out of a paper bag. William Fichtner is a bad guy, as usual. And Alan Ritchson caught my attention for no reason other than he’s a major player in Lazer Team. I went into this movie with zero expectations—or fully expecting it to be awful—so it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was gonna be. I wouldn’t say it was good, but not awful. And I’ll probably end up seeing the next one eventually simply because Stephen Amell is Casey Jones and I’ll watch it with the sound off if need be. *ahem*
Sparks
Radioactive meteor hits Earth, giving a group of people (and their offspring) super powers. Masked vigilante in the 1940’s (50’s?) fights crime while hunting for a notorious serial killer. Low-budget, indie flick with a film noir vibe. It’s super heroes without all of the ridiculous modern day over-the-top technology, and definitely darker than the average superhero romp. Not a bad movie. And if you’ve watched Video Game High School…Shane Pizza is the title role.
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind
Based on the supposedly true autobiography of game show mogul Chuck Barris—he of The Dating Game and The Gong Show fame. It’s a whole lot of Sam Rockwell’s bare ass as he narrates his rise to game show king while he moonlights as a CIA assassin. He falls in love with Drew Barrymore and bangs Julia Roberts and George Clooney plays George Clooney.
The Wolf of Wall Street
Leonardo DiCaprio plays skeevy Wall Street crook Jordan Belfort (based on the “true” memoir). Chronicling his rapid rise from nobody to the richest douche on Wall Street. I expected it to be a lot darker, but instead there was a whole lot of douchey narration directly at the camera, a whole lot of drugs, and a WHOLE LOT of T&A. Also Jonah Hill with horse teeth. Not a bad movie, but the title character made me feel like I needed a shower to scrub away his filth. And apparently the real Jordan Belfort is now out of prison and a traveling motivational speaker. Because of course he is.
The Moogle just wants us to play more Final Fantasy X.
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Playlists & Apologies Matt Nathanson |