It has been A YEAR, Kids.
I’m not entirely sure how to adequately describe it.
But 2020 is the year of the rat. And with Emerson in the house, we’re all in trouble.
2011… The House…
2012… Denver and Andy Grammer…
2013… If it Ain’t One Thing…
2014… The Phantom Smoke Stench…
2015… WTF Day Is It…
2016… The Whole Gaddam World is on Fire…
2017… The Nose and OMFG WHAT NOW???
2018… …I…Got Nothin’…
2019 was The Year of… Just…Fuck Right Off….
Because seriously.
2019 can fuck right off.
We didn’t even put the Christmas tree up this year. We talked about putting it up Thanksgiving weekend, but then we forgot. Then it came up in conversation a few dozen times between then and Christmas, and then it just didn’t happen. Because effort. I did get some fairy lights to put around the half-wall around the stairs which can switch between multi-colored and plain white, and those are going to stay up year-round, so at least there’s that.
It was a hard year. I’ve been saying that for multiple years in a row now. Maybe things were hard for different reasons. Or maybe it was just the same shit with a different date. Little of column A. Little of column B. I always end the year hoping that the next will turn around at some point. I do actually put forth the effort to have a positive, albeit realistic outlook on the year to come. Though 2020 is an election year and I have absolutely zero faith that anything good is going to come of it. But I’ll hold onto the hope that, while the world continues to fester and burn to the ground, I can maintain some semblance of good in my own tiny bubble of existence.
Onward.
1.) Where did you ring in 2019?
We were sitting at home, playing video games. At least I assume. By the time I get to this point, I never remember what we were actually doing a year ago. But that’s always a safe bet to assume. In general when one of us finally realizes it’s midnight—or later—we kiss. And when we finally decide to go to bed at too-late-o’clock, I make a really dumb joke that is not meant for polite company and we kick the new year off right.
2.) What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?
We started having serious conversations about buying new cars. Our current cars are still kicking at 17 and 13 years old, but we’ve had a lot of repairs to contend with that have had us contemplating how much longer either of them has left.
3.) Did you keep your new year’s resolutions and will you make more for next year?
We’ve been over this. Resolutions are a set up for failure and feeling bad about yourself. I never really made a plan for it, but I posted here at least once every month this year. It was nothing earth shattering or even interesting, but I mustered a short post with my monthly Last.fm stats and that counts for something for me.
4.) Did anyone close to you get engaged or married?
My cousin got engaged to her boyfriend of several years and is currently working on everything she needs to move to Ireland to actually live with him.
5.) Did anyone close to you get pregnant or give birth?
I am of an age apparently where the people around me are done having kids and it’s just a matter of time before those kids start having kids of their own.
6.) Did anyone close to you die?
Nobody close. I’m hoping to keep it that way for a good long time.
7.) How did you earn your keep?
Trophy Housewife ten years running.
8.) What countries places did you visit?
I spent most of the year in self-preservation mode. We stayed home as much as possible this year and are very much okay with that.
9.) What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?
I generally go for the repetitive better mental health or a cleaner house but really, I want a good sounding pair of earbuds that are not asininely priced, stay put, and are not murder on my apparently abnormal ears.
10.) What dates from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
March 25th. We came home from running errands to find the new O.A.R. album waiting in the mailbox for me.
11.) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I got out of bed every day. As long as I live with clinical depression, this will always be an achievement.
12.) What was your biggest failure?
I went a solid six weeks…or more?…without even opening a Word document to write. Because fuck Zoloft.
13.) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. *ahem* Fuck mental illness.
14.) Did you ever encounter the police?
Nope. Unless you count the seminar Bob had to attend at work, led by a police officer, on what to do in case of an active shooter.
15.) What was the best thing you bought?
The new O.A.R. album. A fuzzy blanket for dragging around the house with me. A weighted blanket for burying myself under in bed.
16.) Where did most of your money go?
Car repairs. God dammit, Joel.
17.) What did you get really excited about?
The new O.A.R. album. Because I love them beyond reason.
18.) Compared to this time last year, are you…
…happier or sadder? mentally and physically exhausted
…thinner or fatter? I am, at present, the fattest I have ever been. So that’s great.
…richer or poorer? We’re in a decent place financially, managing my lingering debt, and planning for the future.
19.) What do you wish you’d done more of?
Writing. Attempting to return to antidepressants killed a piece of me that I’m still trying to get back and my writing has suffered the most from this.
20.) What do you wish you’d done less of?
Feeling utterly worthless yet utterly apathetic. Because, and I repeat, fuck Zoloft.
21.) How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve with my family. Christmas Day with Bob’s family.
Too many cookies, not enough sleep, and everything hurts for three days after.
22.) What are your short and long term goals for the year?
Short Term: Evacuating the Christmas junk we ended up bringing home despite saying WE DON’T NEED THIS.
Long Term: I want to find a good pair of jeans that don’t constantly slide down when I move.
23.) What was your favorite TV program?
We’re still enjoying Critical Role and I’m still watching things like Murder She Wrote and old Forensic Files.
24.) What were your favorite books of the year?
I started multiple books that I haven’t finished because attention spans are for schmucks, but none of them have made any lasting impact to make me want to go back to finish them.
25.) What was your favorite music from this year?
Oh man the new O.A.R. album is so damn good. I also discovered I apparently like Panic! At the Disco and rekindled my affinity for Fall Out Boy because why not.
26.) What song will always remind you of 2019?
High Hopes by Panic! At the Disco simply because it was that damn song that started the fixation.
27.) What were your favorite films of the year?
I could not tell you the last movie I actually watched, much less the last NEW movie I actually watched.
28.) What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…
I turned 40.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…ha…ha…ha…
I ate onion rings and raspberry bismarks and Bob bought me the latest version of my home architect program.
29.) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Mental health treatments that actually fucking work.
30.) How would you describe your personal fashion concept?
Pajama pants and hoodies will never ever go out of style.
31.) What kept you sane?
Bob and music. I am a crabby bitch, but I am so fucking grateful every goddamn day that I have Robert in my life.
32.) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I just really love the boys of O.A.R. for so many reasons.
33.) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned this year.
Keep pushing for answers when things are not right. This is something I’ve known for a long time, but it always feels like a fresh victory when it’s reaffirmed.
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Alone Together Fall Out Boy |