Ever have a house guest that overstays their welcome and just WILL. NOT. LEAVE.
Insomnia is an unwelcome house guest that
WILL.
NOT.
LEAVE.
I know at least part of it is stress related (OMFG THE NEWS FFS), but I know that’s not the entire cause. I just don’t quite know what the other specific contributing factors might be at this point.
FNEH.
It’s approaching two in the morning, my room temperature tea is almost gone, and the peppermint oil I smeared up my nose to mask the MFing Phantom Smoke Stench is wearing off.
Time for some listing…
1.) My brain has been incredibly loud lately. Much more than usual. Trying to focus on a single thought is like trying to pick out a specific person talking from across an overcrowded room. It’s like listening to someone tuning a static-y radio, and they don’t stop long enough to actually listen to what a given station might be playing, so you just hear fragments of words all blurred together. It’s frustrating and exhausting and feels disturbingly similar to the uncontrolled, buzzy, mouthy, typo-laden, nightmare experience of Vyvanse minus the horrifying nausea.
2.) I’ve been trying to write, attempting to focus on one particular project, but it is currently a disaster of epic proportions because I keep changing my mind about things. It’s somehow even more disjointed and incoherent than the average fanfiction venture I’m prone to writing. Which has me just actually working on a dumb fanfiction venture, because why not? It might be terrible writing, but it’s terribly entertaining, and if I’m going to sit up, wide awake in the middle of the night, I might as well amuse myself while I’m at it.
3.) I wrote about 1400 words in a sequence about a prank involving guitar picks and it’s incredibly dumb and it made me laugh way more than it probably should have.
4.) I just discovered Last.fm hasn’t recorded anything I’ve been listening to for three days and this irritates me far more than it probably should. iTunes is one of the many banes of my existence, but there really isn’t a good alternative and I have many dramatic rantings about this completely innocuous problem.
5.) I put a PopSocket on my phone and I haven’t decided yet if it’s actually useful for its intended purpose or if I just spent $10 on another fidget toy. I have small hands and it feels very awkward and contorted to hold the way all the pictures show you’re supposed to, but it has a bear on it, so it’s not all bad.
6.) I’ve been deep-diving into the Drive List and finding songs that have been missing from the (currently 189) track list. I was listening to Wilco’s Heavy Metal Drummer and giggling to myself, alone in the dark, because the line she fell in love with the drummer could be the title of my non-existent memoir.
7.) Bob and I were in the kitchen working on dinner, having a conversation about the music that was playing, and I was commenting on my theory that bass players don’t age. I was naming off musicians and then asked him if he knew which band I was talking about and he guessed JOURNEY of all things, and then I had to stop working on dinner to look up who the bass player of Journey is because I could not remember who it was. It’s Ross Valory, for the record. He kind of counters my theory about the anti-aging of bass players, but I’ve got a list of others to support my confirmation bias.
8.) There is a storm rolling through right now, with bright lightning, and rumbling thunder that keeps shaking the house. Which means, even if I was ready to finally get back in bed, I won’t be sleeping until it passes, because Sara doesn’t sleep when it storms.
9.) Upon rereading this hot mess of a post for the umpteenth time: Commas. One of the other many, many banes of my existence.
10.) Bob bought me a new bear friend to keep me company while I sit up all night not sleeping. We even got him an expensive LED bulb so he’s more energy efficient since we spend a lot of hours together.
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I Don’t Understand Splender |