Since I got fired my 401k has been sitting, untouched, until I figure out what to do with it. (And actually remember to figure out what to do with it.)
It’s being maintained by the same investment company, but there’s no money going into it anymore. It’s in the “safe harbor fund” and it earns about $50 a quarter.
Big money, kids. Big money.
And since I have done nothing to the account, it’s still connected to the Toxic Shit Hole™. So I get periodic mail from Pass the Buck Management™ about any changes in their plan, et al.
The mail goes to my parents’ house, to my maiden name—fuck if I’m going to update them on my current information. They can always ask Aimless, she still works there. (She’s the manager of the fucking payroll department nowadays last I heard.)
And as much as I recoil in horror every time I see that logo show up in the mail I still get at my parents’ house, I get the tiniest piece of satisfaction knowing that even after three years, I’m still costing that awful company money in some way. Even if it’s just the price of postage and wasting their company stationery that goes directly into the paper shredder after I see it’s completely useless information.
Because I am all about maturity.
—