Nonsequitur Life

Basil: Hey! Remember that fanfiction you started a few years ago?

Me: Could you be more general?

Basil: You KNOW the one.

Me: (I’m gonna regret this)……Why?

Basil: WHAT. IF.

Me: Please don’t.

Basil: No, but what if.

Me: Stop.

Basil: Hear me out.

Me: There are already FOUR iterations of that thing. Knock it off.

Basil: Here’s number five.

Me: Weren’t you hibernating for the winter?

Basil: Nah. Winter’s over. I’m here to help you.

Me: Please look up the definition of help. Also it’s February.

Basil: You could always use the idea in the monstrosity.

Me: That…could make an interest–NO. STOP IT.

Basil: Pocket full of reasons right there.

Me: Don’t start paraphrasing song lyrics at me.

—

Basil: He might be married to someone else, but she could be his side piece.

Me: He would never cheat on his wife and she certainly wouldn’t help him do it.

Basil: It’s not cheating if his wife approves.

Me: THAT IS NOT A THING THAT WOULD HAPPEN.

Basil: But it could…

—

Basil:: THEY COULD HAVE SHIRTS MADE.

Me: For WHAT?

Basil: One says MAIN MAIN one says SIDE SIDE and they could wear them and surprise him.

Me: Fuck. Off.

Basil: When he sees them, he says, “You are both out of my league.”

Me: JFC.

—

Me: HAVE YOU BEEN PLAYING BALDUR’S GATE 3!?

Basil: GAH! Don’t sneak up on me when I’m plotting.

Me: Have you been playing Baldur’s Gate 3?

Basil: Why do you ask?

Me: Because your little side piece plot is a romance option in that game.

Basil: And that’s an award winning video game. So clearly, my plot is money.

Me: You still haven’t answered my question.

Basil: In truth, no. But maybe I should start.

Me: No. No you should not.

—

Swan Dive Sister Hazel