it's a convoluted mess
It has been one full year since Joe died. November 4, 2022. It feels both like an eternity since that day and only a matter of a few weeks. It has been three months since we buried him next to our [paternal] grandparents. People like to write essays about grief and all of the revelations and lessons they’ve learned and so much of it really reads like everything else on the internet: carefully curated and… Keep reading…One Year.
I shoveled dirt into my brother’s grave. I fucking hate that statement. Back in November, Mom told me that Joe was going to be cremated and in the spring he would be buried at the cemetery in Savage where my [paternal] grandparents are. Spring ended up being August 25th. It was a smaller crowd this time, but think it was meant to be that way. We gathered at the cemetery in the late morning. It… Keep reading…Celebration of Life…
May marks six months since Joe died. I fucking hate that statement. It’s something that enters my brain every single day and it still feels like some sort of bad joke. Twice in the past month I have told two different people I don’t know that my brother died and I realized that was the first time I’ve uttered those words out loud to a person not in my isolated circle. And hoo boy, while… Keep reading…A matter of time…
March. Alright then. … Closing Time came out 25 years ago today. First of all, rude. Second, this means that this June marks twenty-five years since I graduated high school. Third, Hunter turned 25 years old in January. As I said, RUDE. … Last weekend marked four months since Joe died. We got together at my parents’ house on Saturday to celebrate my dad’s 80th birthday (the 5th). EIGHTY. Neither of my parents are interested… Keep reading…Move it to the exits…
February. Fine. Whatever. I had six posts in January. Two were year-in-review and one was the monthly Last.fm stats. But there were three run-of-the-mill blog posts and I haven’t posted that much in one month since early 2016. Will it keep up? Who knows? I had a list of things I wanted to dump into a post and then the calendar turned over and the fourth of the month whacked me in the back of… Keep reading…Right behind the haze…
2022 CAN BITE ME. Yes, there were good moments and happy things, but God. Fucking. Dammit. The hard things were Really. Fucking. Hard. this year. Pulling this thing together this time has been a much bigger struggle than it really should have been. It feels more pointless than previous years to be doing this mundane survey of banal questions again. But I do it for me and for some tiny shred of normalcy when so… Keep reading…A Year in Review…2022…