it's a convoluted mess
May marks six months since Joe died. I fucking hate that statement. It’s something that enters my brain every single day and it still feels like some sort of bad joke. Twice in the past month I have told two different people I don’t know that my brother died and I realized that was the first time I’ve uttered those words out loud to a person not in my isolated circle. And hoo boy, while… Keep reading…A matter of time…
March. Alright then. … Closing Time came out 25 years ago today. First of all, rude. Second, this means that this June marks twenty-five years since I graduated high school. Third, Hunter turned 25 years old in January. As I said, RUDE. … Last weekend marked four months since Joe died. We got together at my parents’ house on Saturday to celebrate my dad’s 80th birthday (the 5th). EIGHTY. Neither of my parents are interested… Keep reading…Move it to the exits…
February. Fine. Whatever. I had six posts in January. Two were year-in-review and one was the monthly Last.fm stats. But there were three run-of-the-mill blog posts and I haven’t posted that much in one month since early 2016. Will it keep up? Who knows? I had a list of things I wanted to dump into a post and then the calendar turned over and the fourth of the month whacked me in the back of… Keep reading…Right behind the haze…
2022 CAN BITE ME. Yes, there were good moments and happy things, but God. Fucking. Dammit. The hard things were Really. Fucking. Hard. this year. Pulling this thing together this time has been a much bigger struggle than it really should have been. It feels more pointless than previous years to be doing this mundane survey of banal questions again. But I do it for me and for some tiny shred of normalcy when so… Keep reading…A Year in Review…2022…
December. Joe has already been gone a full month. Logically, I know this is real, but it certainly still does not feel like it. November is mostly a blur. I spent a lot of time staring at the wall or crying—or staring at the wall while crying—and barely paying attention to hours upon hours of old cooking shows and even older cartoons. I also played a lot of Solitaire. What’s great—and by great, I mean… Keep reading…Night Follows Day…
My brother Joe died. Typing those words does not make this seem any more real or any less impossible, but it’s true. Friday, November 4th, 2022. He was 54 years old. Mom called at 8:00 in the morning. I knew something was wrong as soon as I saw her number on the screen. I knew something was VERY WRONG as soon as I heard her voice. I was not prepared for what she had to… Keep reading…Joe.