Nonsequitur Life

It is, as I type this, eighty-one degrees outside.

It’s 30% humidity, windy, and we are under a Critical Fire Weather Watch.

Yesterday I saw a news headline that claimed Minnesota has “no more signs of drought” because it rained last week.

Makes sense.

One of the bathroom faucets has a drip that keeps getting progressively worse and the handle is getting floppier by the day. Our kitchen faucet did that once upon a time. When we attempted to fix it, we had water shooting at the ceiling, and had to replace the whole thing. So we just opted to go ahead and preemptively plan to replace the bathroom faucet. Or both. Since there’s two. And I’m not having mismatched faucets in my bathroom. They won’t match the tub or shower, but those need replacing too anyway. Eventually.

So. The Bobs(TM) have some wild plans this weekend.

I’ve spent a lot of time lamenting lately (for months…years…whatever) about how dry the writing well has been. And it has been, but what I have failed to recognize, is that I’ve written literally thousands of words here (about writing and otherwise) and that should still count for something. I have a hard time considering blogging to be real writing because it’s usually just bitching and moaning about whatever is irritating me when I open a new draft. It’s not the writing I really want to be doing. I don’t want to write about me or my complaints. I want to write about fictional people doing things I have no interest in doing myself.

And true to form, just when I think I have finally refocused myself on a specific project, SOMEBODY decides to crawl out from under his bridge and get real chatty about stories that have nothing to do with the one I’m trying to focus on.

Because Basil.

---

Basil: HEY!

Me: What now.

Basil: She moves in with one of the band members when her house is uninhabitable because of reasons.

Me: Gonna need some more information.

Basil: She’s renting and a water main breaks and her landlord is a putz dragging his feet to fix it.

Me: You’ve already used that ploy with other characters.

Basil: AND YOU NEVER WROTE IT.

Me: Because it was—that story didn’t need—never mind. Not worth it.

Basil: So she’s out of her house for at least a couple of weeks.

Me: And?

Basil: She moves in with a band member. Romance ensues.

Me: How does she know this band member?

Basil: She’s the band’s assistant.

Me: ……How is that any different from Wicked White?

Basil: She’s the drummer’s sister.

Me: And?

Basil: The band doesn’t break up.

Me: And?

Basil: Totally different story.

—

Basil: Ben and Marina.

Me: FFS……Didn’t we just have this conversation?

Basil: Different Ben and Marina.

Me: There’s more than one?

Basil: DIFFERENT ONES. Also there’s more than one of EVERY character and you know it.

Me: Different how so?

Basil: He’s the band member and she’s the assistant.

Me: You mean Benji and Hallie of Wicked White.

Basil: No. Ben and Marina of…as yet unnamed band. Totally different story.

Me: So Hallie is now Marina and Benji is now…BEN.

Basil: TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY.

—

---

Basil: So.

Me: No.

Basil: Hey.

Me: SHUSH.

Basil: Listen.

Me: No.

Basil: The drummer blows out his shoulder so he switches to guitar and the band needs a new drummer.

Me: This is sounding familiar.

Basil: The band gets a new touring drummer. Romance ensues.

Me: Romance with who?

Basil: The new drummer and the only girl in the band.

Me: This is just Friends of Ledger.

Basil: HE’S THE DRUMMER.

Me: Sam busts his hand and they recruit Little Brother to stand in for him to play guitar on tour. Then they ask him to join the band permanently after Sam recovers.

Basil: IT’S THE DRUMMER THIS TIME. And he’s not related to anyone in the band.

Me: What are their names?

Basil: Savannah.

Me: And…?

Basil: Ben.

Me: Another Ben? Why don’t you just name her Marina again?

Basil: Okay Ian.

Me: Savannah and Ian are already a thing in Meaning.

Basil: WHEN HAS THAT EVER STOPPED YOU?

Me: Irrelevant.

Basil: Different Savannah and Ian. She’s in the band not the tour manager. And he’s a NEW drummer. They don’t have more than a decade of history.

Me: Grasping at straws, rodent.

Basil: Gremlin.

Me: What’s the name of the band?

Basil: ……Still working on that.

Me: Friends of Ledger version 2024.

Basil: TOTALLY NOT FRIENDS OF LEDGER.

—

Basil: SCRATCH ALL OF THAT.

Me: All of what?

Basil: It’s her BROTHER’S band.

Me: Whose brother?

Basil: Savannah. It’s Patrick’s band. Their drummer blows out his shoulder and moves to guitar. They need a new drummer.

Me: Doesn’t sound like scratching ALL of it then.

Basil: They recruit a new drummer and romance ensues.

Me: Romance between who?

Basil: Savannah and the new drummer.

Me: It’s her brother’s band? Who is she to the band? DO NOT SAY ASSISTANT.

Basil: She writes songs with them. But she’s not IN the band.

Me: But she’s a musician.

Basil: Not by trade, but she writes songs with her brother and his band.

Me: This sounds like Untangled. Alex writes songs with her friend for his band, but she’s not a professional musician.

Basil: You’ve written like, three pages on that one.

Me: So why do you think it will work with THIS one?

Basil: Totally different story.

Me: You keep saying that. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

—

---

Basil: Friends of Ledger.

Me: Actual Friends of Ledger or Totally Not Friends of Ledger?

Basil: The first one.

Me: I will regret asking, but what now?

Basil: So you have two different timelines.

Me: Because you can’t stop what-if-ing all the damn time. Also it’s three at this point.

Basil: In one Alex and Richie get back together after too many years of being stupid.

Me: Yes. And?

Basil: In the other Alex and Brendon have been friends with benefits for years until he joins the band and they finally get together.

Me: Alex is starting to sound like the village bicycle. Also you forgot the damaged, orphaned teenager plot with Alex and Richie and her nephew Ryan.

Basil: WHAT IF IT’S BOTH.

Me: What if WHAT is both?

Basil: Alex. With Richie AND Brendon.

Me: *eye twitch*……No.

Basil: Leave Ryan out of it.

Me: I certainly hope so, but still NO.

Basil: YES.

Me: So you’re proposing a throuple.

Basil: More like…Alex and Richie plus Brendon on the side.

Me: You and your MF side piece plots. NO.

Basil: He’d be THEIR side piece not just hers…or his.

Me: Go to your room and don’t come out until you can apologize for what you’ve done.

—

---

Basil: Intermission and Doxie.

Me: *hngh*……This can’t end well.

Basil: Combine them.

Me: Combine them? How?

Basil: Just combine them.

Me: Those two stories are not even remotely related.

Basil: We both know that’s not true.

Me: Two very different stories.

Basil: Combine them into one. Make a whole new story.

Me: That doesn’t even—combine them HOW? Intermission is an alternate history of Hallie and Ryan from Wicked White. Doxie is one of your MF side piece debacles.

Basil: It was the FIRST. And one you’ve actually written for. Also, Hannah is more the main piece considering Brendon has never even lived with his wife.

Me: Yeah and that whole “they never lived together” thing still isn’t at all believable. REGARDLESS. Hallie and Ryan and Hannah and Brendon are from two different worlds. How am I supposed to combine them?

Basil: Change Ryan to Benji, give Benji a wife he doesn’t live with.

Me: So now it’s Hallie and Benji? Why not just ret-con Ryan a wife?

Basil: You could give Ryan a wife, sure, but Hallie and Benji have been a thing for a long time.

Me: In Divergence. The branching path of Wicked White you keep pushing.

Basil: And Intermission Redux is an alternate history.

Me: Intermission REDUX?

Basil: YOU. ARE. WELCOME.

—

—

If I Were You (I Really Wouldn’t Do That) Panic! At the Disco