it's a convoluted mess
Ever have a house guest that overstays their welcome and just WILL. NOT. LEAVE. Insomnia is an unwelcome house guest that WILL. NOT. LEAVE. I know at least part of it is stress related (OMFG THE NEWS FFS), but I know that’s not the entire cause. I just don’t quite know what the other specific contributing factors might be at this point. FNEH. It’s approaching two in the morning, my room temperature tea is almost… Keep reading…Lack of oxygen…
It’s offensive-something-o’clock in the middle of the night and I’m sitting at my desk in the dark with a mug of room-temperature tea. As I’m writing this, the oldest post on the main page of ye olde blog is my Year in Review survey for 2016. Which means I’ve only published ten posts in 2017. If I actually post this one, it will finally push that one to the next page. But still. That’s pathetic…. Keep reading…Standing in the dark…
Writing is hard. Yes, we’re on this again. It’s two-something in the morning as I write this and I’m not even close to being tired enough to go to bed. Which is great because I have an appointment at 10:15 and I’ll be good and exhausted for that. I had a surge of bad anxiety hit right before bedtime and…here we sit. The obnoxious thing about it, is it was mostly innocuous nonsense that spiked… Keep reading…All the mess we’re in…
Insomnia and anxiety are great, I don’t know what you’re talking about. There are so many things I could be writing about, but they’re not getting written because I just don’t have the mental fortitude for it. I write plenty of posts dumping out raw emotions that never get published. They just sit in the drafts folder never to see the light of day. It feels better to purge my brain, and everything I write… Keep reading…Damn these days…
Contrary to the inanity that I write here…I don’t suck at writing. That is not an easy thing for me to admit out loud. (Or in print on the internet, as the case may be.) I am the queen of self-deprecation, and depression and anxiety like to try to convince me I suck at merely existing most days. I have a difficult time saying I’m a good writer without feeling like a complete fraud. Every… Keep reading…But that one night…
…wait… It’s been raining…a lot…so…warm December it is. Minnesota. Rain. December. What. Anyway. No. Wait. I just looked out the window and it’s snowing. Joy. We took my ring in for its regular six-month inspection and they found a loose stone, so they had to send it out for repair. I am without my wedding ring for over two weeks. I don’t realize how much I fidget with my ring until I’m not wearing it…. Keep reading…Can’t remember a warm December…